Suffering from Mommy Burnout?

Denver author Dr. Sheryl Ziegler Helps Mothers Ditch Perfection

The new movie, “Tully,” which stars Charlize Theron as an overwhelmed mother at her wit’s end, describes what is most certainly an unspoken struggle that many mothers feel, but may not be able to describe.

Local author and psychotherapist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler has coined the term “Mommy Burnout” which is also the title of her book by the same name: Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process. Her definition of Mommy Burnout is the emotional and physical exhaustion resulting from the chronic stress of parenting.

Through Dr. Ziegler’s years of family therapy sessions with children and their mothers, she has not only defined “Mommy Burnout” but she has developed ways to address it. She understands the importance of helping mothers recognize burnout and how to help themselves while no longer accepting it as the status quo. She observes that women often have a debilitating notion of being the perfect mom, which can take a toll on any mother’s mental and physical health, as well as on those of everyone around her.

By helping mothers to ban “busy” as a badge of honor, Dr. Ziegler is empowering women with techniques to reduce feelings of low self-esteem, resentment, pessimism, and low sense of accomplishment, where women feel there’s no end in sight to the daily stresses of parenting.

According to Dr. Ziegler, the first thing that goes when mothers are burned out is their self-care. They may have unpleasant physical symptoms like headaches, as well as irritability, a lowered interest in sex, increased worries, disrupted sleep patterns, memory and confusion issues, and decreased energy levels. By providing women with useful coping skills, there is hope when it seems there’s no way out.

In addition, moms often don’t feel they have a true purpose in their life, and that maybe their only role is to raise children. Social media does not help the situation, in that it highlights seemingly perfect moms handling everything with minimal effort and stress.

“I encourage all moms to make it a priority to connect with others outside of social media and make kid-free time for open communication, whether that be with new and old friends, or their significant others,” said Dr. Ziegler. “There’s so much research out there showing that mothers are lonelier than ever, and while they may seem visually connected, they’re actually socially deprived.”

Dr. Ziegler also emphasizes the importance of understanding that mothers are raising a new generation of stressed-out kids. When parents lack the coping skills to manage their stress, kids notice; they crave role models who can ensure that they feel secure and loved. At the same time, women who look after their own needs will be more mentally equipped to meet those of their children.

“As moms, we are over-tending to our kids and in the process, forgetting about ourselves,” added Dr. Ziegler. “This is why it’s critical to show our kids that their moms make it a priority to have a balanced, happy, and connected life. The sense of belonging to a community bigger than ourselves is incredibly meaningful to the entire family.”

Dr. Sheryl Ziegler is a Doctor of Psychology and Licensed Professional Counselor in the State of Colorado and a member of the Association for Play Therapy and American Psychological  Association. She writes for and serves as a regular source for journalists at many publications including The New York Times, The Washington Post, Huffington Post, and the Denver Post. She is also a news contributor to FOX31 and NBC 9News in Colorado and has been a featured guest on The Katie Couric Show. She founded a private practice group in Denver, Colorado, where she lives with her husband and three children. For more information, visit www.mommyburnout.com.

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